Beautiful Complication
by poeticgrace
Summary: Just as Maxie is determined to have Johnny, he is set on having her. JoMax.
1. Chapter 1

Johnny Zacharra cradled his head in his hands as he sat on the couch bent over. Maxie Jones was the most exasperating person he had ever met, a pretty amazing feat considering the DNA he shared with his father and sister. She was a constant paradox in the way that she was constantly contradicting in herself. She was pledging her undying love and devotion to Spinelli one minute and clearly coming onto him the next. He could never quite figure out if she believed what she said but he didn't buy it for a minute. He could see right through her bravery to the scared little girl inside that svelte body of hers.

That careful fragility was something Johnny had in common with her. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was just as broken as she was. They were both walking contradictions determined to hurt themselves before anyone else could. They never gave their hearts fully to someone, no matter their intentions. Just as Maxie had tried to love Spinelli, Johnny had tried to give his whole heart to Lulu. He could go on for days about all the things he loved about her, but he would still end up kissing Maxie in the backseat of the limousine every single time.

Maxie's weapon of choice was her body, but Johnny preferred to use his power. While she would act, as she put it in her words, petty and selfish and trampy, Johnny would be cocky and threatening and dangerous. They both took what they wanted when they wanted without a second thought. When she wanted him, she would make sure she had him. When he wanted her, he would stop at nothing to possess her. They could dance around it all they wanted, but it wouldn't make it any less true. Her words echoed in his heads. She insisted that it would be easier not to care but Maxie would never be that kind of girl. Try to hide it as she may, she would always care. Sometimes the caring just hurt too much.

He jumped from the couch and went to her bedroom door, tapping lightly before letting himself into the room. Maxie whirled around, her arms crossed across her bare chest as she stared at him angrily. "Couldn't you knock?" she yelled as she turned back around. Johnny caught her eye in the full-length mirror, tryinig in vain to hide his smile. Any other girl would be in here crying in resolution but not Maxie. "Listen, if you wanted a free peak, you know all you have to do is ask."

"As tempting as that sounds, Jones, I think that you better find a shirt and come back into the living room. We're not finished talking."

"No, I'm pretty sure I was finished," she said innocently as she let her hands fall to her side. Johnny's gaze slipped from hers as he took in her reflection. Maxie put her hands on her hips as she turned around and started toward him slowly. After the fight they'd had, Maxie knew Lulu wouldn't be back for hours. She stopped just short of him, threading her hands around his neck as she crept against him. "This, on the other hand, is just getting started."

Johnny turned his head to the side as Maxie started her attack on his neck. He grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her back slightly, cursing beneath his breath at his inability to just give in. "Come on, Maxie, I'm not going to let you do this," he murmured. She stuck her bottom lip out in a feigned pout as she posed in front of him, not at all ashamed at showing off her perfectly toned and tanned body. "Seriously, find a shirt. We need to talk."

"I don't want to talk. I'm tired of talking. It's all we do – talk, talk, talk. I talk to Spinelli. You talk to Lulu. Aren't you tired of talking so much and saying so little?" she taunted as she ran her index finger up his chest. "I know that you want me, Zacharra. You are looking at me right now and I can see it in your eyes. Just give in."

"Maxie, this is just going to hurt you."

"Promise?" she whispered as she leaned on her tiptoes. There was no warning her now. She leaned in and pressed her lips to his unapologetically. Johnny couldn't help himself as his arms slipped around her waist and pulled her firm to him. She moaned in his mouth, trying frantically to get closer to him without breaking the kiss. "See, that wasn't so bad was it?"

"Very bad," he grunted as he lifted her off the ground. Her legs wrapped around his waist just before he pressed her back against the wall. "So bad." Maxie nodded as he kissed her again, their tongues dancing for control. "You want it like this?"

Maxie rolled her eyes as she pulled away and reached for the discarded white tanktop off her bed. She flopped on her stomach on the mattress and looked up at him. He didn't quite understand the sudden change in her mood, but Maxie had definitely put space between them. She didn't want him to question it, to make her have a conversation about hooking up. She just wanted it to happen. It was thought that led her to guilt and she refused to feel bad about this. When they finally gave into temptation, she wanted to enjoy it. "You wanted to talk so let's talk."

Johnny sat on the foot of the bed, careful to keep some distance between himself and Maxie. He knew that even in her pajamas, it would only take one twinkle in her big blue eyes and he would be hers completely. "You said that you are who you are with or without Spinelli, but that's not true. I saw you before him, and you were not a happy person. I know that you lost a lot in a little amount of time. I get that kind of loss, I've lived it. The thing is, even as much as I pretend not to, I still know that I'm a different person because I have Lulu in my life."

Maxie tilted her head to the side and looked up at the mob prince. "Yeah, an unhappier person," she retorted. She heard it in the way he spoke of his supposed girlfriend. Lulu had quit making Johnny happy months ago. "Johnny, maybe this isn't really about me. Did you ever think of that? Maybe, just maybe, you are the one that needs to come to terms with you are. Lulu can't change you anymore than Spinelli can change me. He might make my life better, but I'm still going to be myself when I wake up the next morning. Lulu hasn't changed you in the last year. We're not any different, you and me."

"Don't talk about Lulu and me like you know what happens between us."

His voice was angry but she didn't back down. "How is that any different from how you talk about Spinelli and me? You barge in here, talking to me about how I am lying to myself? You are such a hypocrite, Zacharra. I know that everyone has tiptoed around you your entire life, whether it was because your dad paid them to worship you or they were just too afraid to question your authority. Well, I'm not afraid to stand up to you. If you are going to dish out opinions on my relationships, you better be ready to hear mine on yours."

Johnny was across the bed in two seconds, pressing her back against the mattress and covering her mouth with his. He just couldn't stand to hear her talk anymore. He didn't want to admit that she was right. Instead, he would take comfort in the expert way she sucked on his tongue and entwined her fingers in his dark locks. "You were right," he grunted as he leaned back on his heels long enough to toss away his shirt. "We definitely talk too much."

Maxie licked her lips in anticipation just before he returned to her. He managed to get her skirt up around her waist while maneuvering her hands down to his belt buckle. The expensive strip of leather was tossed across the room carelessly. She pressed his jeans over his hips, wanting him to be connected to her immediately. Her tanktop followed his jeans to her plush carpet, and before either of them had a chance to think, they were both completely naked and wrapped in each other.

Johnny tried to stop the thoughts flooding his mind as Maxie pressed a tantalizing trail of kisses along his collarbone. Salty sweat pooled on his skin and across her tongue. He knew that his life was fated to go into flames at some point, and right now, Maxie Jones was the perfect wick to start the inevitable explosion. "I want you inside me now," she demanded in his ear. There was no time to foreplay, no sweet nothings to whisper in her ear. "Come on, Johnny, make me forget."

He didn't have to be asked twice. He took the small foil packet from her outstretched hand and sheathed himself without breaking their kiss. Wrapping his strong arms around her tiny frame, he dragged her to the floor without even bothering to put anything down first. They would both have carpet burns the next morning, but neither of them seemed to care. Looking into her eyes, he expressed a question of permission, to which she answered with a quick thrust so that he was inside of her. "Oh, God!" she cried out involuntarily. Johnny smiled impishly as they found their natural rhythm.

It felt like it lasted hours and mere seconds at the same time. Johnny cradled Maxie against his chest as she fell over the edge, pulling him into blissful oblivion with him. He pressed his forehead to hers as they came down off their natural high together. Her legs wrapped around his waist, they stayed connected until their breaths evened out. "You okay?" he finally whispered, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She nodded silently, her wide eyes lackadaisical and hazy. "Man, we are headed for trouble."

"It's our favorite kind," came her answer as she buried her face tiredly in his shoulder. She wasn't sure what was supposed to come next, only that everything would change once he pulled away and they left the safety of her bedroom. "Johnny, about this…"

"Jones, I don't want to talk about it." His voice was kind and quiet. He tilted her chin so that their eyes met. She tried not to feel anxious about their transgressions. She had been so determined not to feel guilty before, and now that it was over, she really didn't. She was more scared than anything – afraid that this would be just another thing that ended up not mattering. "I just want to enjoy you while I still have you."

"This changes everything."

Part of him wanted to go the cliché route and ask her to promise him that this really did change everything. However, he was Johnny Zacharra, and he was supposed to be cooler than that. If that was true, he wasn't sure why he felt so nervous with Maxie. He had hooked up with so many random girls in the past that his one-night stand list read like a who's who of society divas. However, Maxie was more than a debutante. She wasn't just some random bar skank or a prep school princess. She was someone that mattered.

He kissed her again, allowing the moment to linger. "Lulu and I are done."

"Johnny."

"Maxie, we were finished the minute she had a problem with me going to see Claud," he confessed softly. "You know as well as I do that family is everything. You've seen how this world works with Jason and Spinelli. I will never fully be out of this life. I love having the garage. Working on cars is my dream. Having that doesn't mean that I suddenly quit being a Zacharra. Claudia is the one person that is always going to care if I live or die. We're all that we can really count on. I won't walk away from her for anything in the world."

Johnny was right; she understood exactly where he was coming from. She had shared that bond with Georgie and now looked at Mac as her only true family in the world. He was the one person that had never left her. She loved Robin, but she had her own life. To Mac, Maxie was his life. "It's possible to have your dream and your family, too." Maxie was living proof of it. Thanks to B.J.'s heart, she was living out her dream of working in the fashion world. "Lulu loves you. She'll come around."

"Stop trying to talk me out of breaking up with her, Jones. It's not going to work."

"As long as you're the reason it's over and not me."

"Like I said, Lulu and I were done when we got into a fight over my sister."

"I'm not going to be your girlfriend, Johnny. I mean, if you think you can just replace her with me, it's not going to work. I'm not very good at belonging to anyone," she informed him. "You were just supposed to make me forget. Now you're making me remember."

"I won't apologize for that, Jones," he smiled before kissing her again. She tilted her head to deepen the moment. "This is going to get a whole lot more complicated."

"That's me, a beautiful complication," she grinned. "What does all this mean?"

"Seriously, Jones, you're trying to have _that_ conversation?" he asked. "I'm disappointed in you."

"Hey, I'm still a girl," she reminded him. "We ask these things."

"I don't want to define the indefinable," he said. "For now, I just want to stay like this with you."

Maxie couldn't help but smile as Johnny lifted her in his arms and carried her over to the bed. He crossed the room to make sure that the door was locked before slipping beneath the covers with her. His long body fit against her small frame perfectly, her soft curves finding a home against his toned angles. This could be the love of a lifetime. This could be a disaster waiting to happen. This could change everything. This could change nothing. There was a lot to figure out, so much was left to define. As her eyes fell heavy and Johnny's breath became shallow against her neck, Maxie decided to let go of her anxieties and embrace the comfort of being in his arms.


	2. Chapter 2

Johnny was gone by the time Maxie woke up. If it wasn't for slight indention on her pillow and his scent still lingering on her skin, she would have never even guessed that he had been there. She tried not to chastise herself as she sat up slowly, feeling as hazy as she did after a long night of partying in Manhattan. The twilight sky sparkled outside, indicating that the day was drawing to a close and night would soon be here.

Maxie hated night most of all. It was after the sun set when she felt most alone. She traced the feeling back to growing up when her mother would sneak out of the house after the girls were in bed, off to the other side to chase her latest adventure. Mac had tried to give them the stable upbringing that children needed, but Maxie and Georgie had always known that they were different. While Maxie should have been the one to comfort Georgie as the older sister, it was the younger Jones who had taken on the maternal role from an early age. She would entertain Maxie with wild fairytales that she would make up extemporaneously in the dark. As she swung her toned legs over the side of the bed, Maxie would have given anything to hear just one more of her sister's stories. Instead, she took a deep breath and headed barefoot toward the kitchen in search of a cup of coffee.

She was surprised to see the lights on beneath the kitchen door. She knew that Lulu wasn't home. The living room was still clean, free of Lulu's discarded clothes and shoes as it always was at the end of the day. Swinging the door open, she expected to find Spinelli in there scrounging around for junk food. Instead, she found a half-dressed Johnny propped up on the counter, munching happily on some leftover Chinese from the refrigerator.

"Those are my lo mein noodles," she announced nonchalantly as she headed over to the coffeemaker to start a new brew. Johnny shrugged unapologetically as he popped a piece of broccoli into his mouth. "I didn't think you were anymore, figured you'd left."

"Now, why would I do a thing like that, Jones?" Maxie didn't answer as she reached into the cabinet beside him to grab her favorite mug. He caught her wrist and pulled her between his parted legs. Leaning down, he kissed her roughly, entwining his fingers in her hair in an effort to pull her closer. Maxie slid her arms around his strong torso, sending her coveted mug crashing to the ground. "I'm not quite finished having you yet. I just needed to get some carbs in me to replenish my energy for another round."

Maxie licked her bottom lip eliciting before sliding her knees to start gathering the pieces of the mug. "And who said that I was going to let you have another go at me?" she asked. She should have been angry that her favorite cup was ruined, but she just couldn't find the energy to be upset after a kiss like that. Some things like kissing Johnny Zacharra were worth a few broken dishes. "I mean, I don't want to make the same mistake twice, you know?"

"Well, you better get ready because this," he announced, waving between them, "is a mistake that I intend on making many, many times." Maxie smirked to herself without giving any sense of how much she wanted him. She knew how to play it cool, to keep a guy wanting her just as much as she wanted him. "By the way, can I tell you just how much I like seeing you in that position?"

Looking at him with hooded bedroom eyes, Maxie portrayed every ounce of feigned innocence she could pull off. Setting the fragmented shards of glass to the side, she crawled toward the counter on her knees, never once breaking his gaze. "Why don't you come down here and join me?" Tossing the mostly empty carton into the sink, Johnny slipped off the Formica counter and onto the tile floor with his tempting playmate. With his back firmly against cabinets, Maxie continued her journey toward him until she was crawling into his lap. Straddling his thighs, she took his hands and ran them down her sides until they found a new home on her ass. "Lulu could walk in any minute."

Johnny nodded at her knowingly. Half the fun of their interludes was the fact that they could get caught. He lived for the adrenaline rush he got when he was doing something he knew that he shouldn't be doing. Maxie Jones was currently at the very top of the list of things he shouldn't be doing. "And if she does, what are you going to say?"

Maxie looked at him over her shoulder, batting her eyelashes as if she had no clue. "Ask her to join us?"

"Seriously?"

"Of course not!" she laughed. She knew that every guy's fantasy was to have two women at once, especially two blondes as young and beautiful as her and Lulu. However, Maxie had never been good at sharing, and she didn't plan on letting anyone have a piece of what was hers. She had Johnny Zacharra exactly where she wanted him, anyone else be damned. "Besides, I'm more than any one man can handle. You don't need anyone else when you have me."

"And do I have you?"

She thought about this for a moment before giving her answer, "For the moment." Their eyes locked in a moment of mutual understanding. Their flame flickered too brightly for it to last forever. It would eventually be extinguished. However, for the time being, Maxie was willing to give as much of herself as she could for as long as it lasted. "For the moment, you can have me right here on this kitchen floor."

Johnny smiled devilishly as he pulled at the useless sash on her satin robe. The garment flooded around her shoulders and to the ground behind her. He was completely still as he framed her face in his hands. "You are so beautiful that it's enough to make a guy literally ache."

"You know that you don't have to use those kinds of lines with me, Zacharra," she reminded him. "I mean, I'm pretty much a sure thing."

"It's not a line if it's the truth," he retorted before capturing her mouth with his. Her hands slid over his neck as his tongue darted past her juicy lips. Her legs were entwined tightly enough around his waist that he managed to pick her up fairly easily and carry her over to the small table in the corner. Laying her on her back, he stood back to take a long look at the feast laid out before him. He started at her earlobes and jawline, nipping playfully at her peachy skin. Making his way down her neck, he brushed openmouthed kisses over her collarbone and between her breasts. His attack continued to her belly button, where he swirled his tongue over her sculpted abdomen. Maxie reached down to press him down further, gasping when he finally found her core. She held him there for a moment before freeing him to return to her.

Climbing onto the table next to her, Johnny rolled her on top of him so that they were connected. One of his feet sent a chair crashing to the floor as they found their groove, her voice calling out several octaves above his. Maxie's head hit harshly against the tabletop as he drove against her over and over again, but it was exactly how she liked it. It was how they both liked it. If their time had a fun limit, they would make sure to use every second of it.

After spending a good fifteen minutes on her back on the table, Johnny finally pulled Maxie up until she was sitting on the edge again. Sensing his continued urge to have her again, she slipped to the floor and leaned over so that her backside was pressed against his center. Looking back at him over her shoulder, she nodded slightly for him to continue. He bent over her, gripping her shoulder for leverage. Everything got a little hazy after that.

Completely spent and unable to gather enough strength to stay on his feet, Johnny collapsed into one of the chairs at the table, pulling Maxie down into his lap. "Alright, some day when I am old and unable to find my libido, I am going to remember that one," he chuckled proudly. Maxie giggled in response as she leaned against him, reaching for one of the strawberries he'd been slicing on the counter nearby. She wiped one over her lips, popped it into his mouth and turned to kiss Johnny. "You taste so good."

"We should probably get dressed or something. Lulu could be home any minute."

"You weren't saying that ten minutes ago when you were bent over the table," he teased before stealing another kiss. He could kiss this woman forever. "But you're probably right. I'm not sure if Lulu and I are over, but I don't think that her finding us together naked at your kitchen table would probably be the best way for us to officially breakup."

Maxie was quiet as they went back to her bedroom to retrieve their clothes. Only when they were both fully dressed did she address his earlier statement. "You know that I'm not asking you to break up with her, right?" she asked. "I mean, I'm not looking this into anything permanent."

"I think if we have learned anything here it's that I'm not good at the whole relationship thing either," he proclaimed softly. He caught her eye in the mirror just as he had earlier. She smoothed down her blonde hair in a vain attempt to look as if she wasn't completely spent. "Jones, I heard you loud and clear earlier. We're both just having some fun."

"God, I wish it could be that simple," she sighed. Maxie reached for the lip gloss on her dresser and reapplied a layer of the soft pink hue. "I wish that I didn't care about Spinelli so much. I wish that I still hated Lulu. I wish that hurting them could be easy. It used to be that I was the only one that I hurt, but now, I'm hurting two of the only people that I can call my friend."

Johnny came up behind her and slipped his arms around her waist. He knew it was a risky move to be so intimate with her, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to hold her. "I wish that I had met you on the edge of town that night instead of Lulu," he confessed quietly. "Everything would be different."

"Zacharra, if I had met you that night, who knows what would have happened? We would have burn out a long time ago. At least this way we got to be friends first. You never really had that with Lulu. Maybe that was the problem."

"You're friends with Spinelli, and that hasn't seemed to change anything."

She shook her head adamantly. "That's where you're wrong. Before Spinelli, I didn't really have a guilty conscience unless it had to do with Georgie or Mac. He was the first person that I wasn't related to that cared enough to stick around. I'm not really sure that Lulu would do that even now. Every girl needs someone who is going to show up on your birthday and tell you that he's happy that you were born. No matter what has happened, Spinelli has become that guy for me. I always tell you that he is my essential person, but you never really seem to get what that means. That's the best way I know how to explain it. I don't have my sister anymore, but I have Spinelli. It's like how you feel about Claudia. You will always show up for her. I would do that for him. He's my best friend in the world."

Johnny knew that he didn't have the right to feel jealous about her relationship with Spinelli but he did. He hated the thought of her loving anyone that wasn't him. It wasn't that he wanted her to love him, at least not yet. This was just supposed to be for fun, anyhow. He had to keep telling himself that before he let himself feel anything more.

"You're a good girl, Jones."

She smiled at him sweetly in the mirror. "Just don't tell anyone, okay?"

"It's our little secret," he agreed, leaning down to drop a kiss on her shoulder.


	3. Chapter 3

Maxie had never once been jealous of Lulu Spencer. She had always known that she possessed something that the other blonde did not. Whereas Lulu was cute, Maxie was sexy. While Lulu was the kind of girl guys brought home to meet their mom, Maxie was the girl they wanted in their bed. Lulu was forever blaming others for her circumstances, but Maxie had been carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders for years. Other than their hair color, living in the same small town and having people in common, the two girls couldn't have been more different.

Yet, Lulu had the one thing that Maxie wanted more than anything in the world. Maxie was envious that Lulu still had Johnny's heart, even if she didn't always have his attention. She saw the way that Johnny watched her now, after their day in the apartment after he'd fought with Lulu. He watched her every move, waiting to catch her eye when Lulu was looking away. If it had been any other guy at any other time, that probably would have been enough. However, Maxie had gotten a taste of what it was like to be in Johnny Zacharra's arms and now she was addicted.

That's why when she came home to a dim apartment on Friday night, she wanted to kick herself for not staying at Jason's longer. She happened to walk in on Johnny and Lulu finally making up – right in the middle of her living room on the couch. Averting her eyes, Maxie muttered an apology as she fled from the room. A few minutes later, she heard Johnny and Lulu start arguing again. Turning up the stereo, she drowned out their voices in a vain attempt to remain unattached from the situation. She wasn't sure if they were fighting because of what she had interrupted. She didn't want to know. She just wanted to forget seeing Johnny's arms around someone that wasn't her.

No matter how loud the Imogen Heap song blaring on her stereo was, she still heard the loud and angry sound of a door slamming. Maxie turned down the dial and stuck her head out into the hallway to see which one of the lovebirds had left. A few moments later, she saw Lulu head toward her room, her eyes red with tears.

"Are you alright?" Maxie called out to her, surprising both of them. Lulu looked up and nodded silently as she played with the knob on her bedroom door. "I'm sorry. I didn't know that you guys were going to be here. I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"It's not your fault," Lulu shrugged. Even though she knew it was a lie, she couldn't really blame Maxie directly. It was clear that Johnny was distracted the minute her roommate came home. He had been like this all week, ever since the morning after their big fight when she'd returned home and apologized. "He just needed to get out of here, take some time to think. We'll be fine. We always are."

Maxie nodded thoughtfully, "Right, well, I hope so."

"Thanks, I think I am going to get some sleep. If Johnny comes home, just tell him to come on in," Lulu retorted. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Good night," Maxie replied before shutting her door again. Her back slid against the heavy wood surface as she slid to the ground. Drawing her knees up to her chin, Maxie tried not to dwell on Lulu's words. Of course they would make up, they always did. She felt guilty that she wished that this was the fight that would break them up. What kind of friend was she? Then again, she had never claimed to be Lulu's friend exactly. The only person she really called her friend was Spinelli. Then again, she had betrayed him by sleeping with Johnny and keeping it a secret.

Hours later, after Maxie had finally managed to find sleep, she could hear Lulu's soft voice coming from the living room. Maxie rolled over, pulling the blanket over her head to drown out the conversation. The last thing she wanted to hear was Johnny's apology followed by their make-up sex. Trying to get comfortable, she cursed under her breath at the drama that her life had become. She used to thrive on this kind of stuff, but those days were long gone.

Finally, almost begrudgingly, she pulled back the covers and listened for Johnny's voice. "Lulu, I'm sorry, I should have stormed out like that," Maxie could overhear him saying. "You just have to understand where I am coming from."

Maxie didn't wait to hear Lulu's reply as she crept toward her window. Lifting the pane, she crawled over the sill and out onto the adjoining fireplace that led from both her and Lulu's bedrooms. The stars twinkled above in the velvety spring sky. She pushed the window closed after her, putting a silence to the reconciliation conversation going on in her living room. She was really glad that there were only a few more months left on her lease. Even if it meant living with Mac again until she found a new place, she knew that it would be better than having to put up with Johnny and Lulu any longer. It was just too much now.

She sat alone on the fire escape for a few more minutes until she saw Lulu's light go on in her bedroom and two shadows emerge in the window. Maxie crept back in the house in search of coffee in the kitchen, craving a warm brew that could provide her with the comfort that she needed. She made a single cup before heading back for her fire escape. With a blanket wrapped around her, she curled up on the metal grate and looked back toward the stars. It was nights like these where she wondered if BJ and Coop and Jesse and Georgie were up there watching over her. She liked to think so. It was a comforting thought to think of having so many guardian angels.

Maxie was out there for more than a half hour before she heard the window to Lulu's bedroom slide open. She looked up to see a pair of familiar dark eyes glittering back at her. Johnny sauntered over to her corner of the fire escape, clad only in a pair of plaid pajama pants. He sat down next to her silently, reaching for her mug to take a long sip. He handed it back over to her with a smile before moving over so that his back was flat against the rail beside her.

"Hey, you."

"Hey," she replied back softly. "Lulu asleep?"

Johnny shrugged nonchalantly. He really hadn't even bothered to check to see. He had seen Maxie slip out here a few minutes and couldn't wait to come to her. "Sorry about earlier. I know that it was awkward for you."

"It is what it is," she replied. "But yeah, it kind of sucked."

"You've been avoiding me all week."

They weren't looking at each other as they spoke. Their eyes were fixed on the stars. "I'm not really sure how to do this," she confessed. "Usually, I manage to push the guys away before I really get the chance to get this far. If not, something happens and they end up leaving me. Logan is the only guy I've ever dealt with who was in a relationship and we basically hated each other. You're different. I kind of like you."

"Likewise, Jones," he said quietly, bumping her shoulder. "I want to see you again."

"I can't," Maxie said firmly. "Not while you're with her. If you want to be with Lulu, then you need to give it all you have. I don't want to be the other woman. What we had was fun, Zacharra, but it wasn't right."

"You like to be bad."

"I do," she admitted, "but I'm not that person anymore. It would be so easy for me to play the vixen. It's a role I know and do well. It's familiar. The thing is that I want to be more than that now. I can't put Lulu through that again. Even if I don't particularly care for her some times, Spinelli does. It'd break his heart to know what I've done – that I'm still the person that he thought I'd left behind. I don't want to be that girl, Johnny. I want to be more than that."

"You have no idea all the things you are, Jones." It was only then that he realized that he head reached for her hand and entwined their fingers. It was so natural, completely unconscious. "Maxie…"

His voice was low and hoarse. She knew what that tone meant. It meant trouble. "Johnny, I can't," she repeated. Her voice was quiet but firm. She meant it. There was no way she was going to be this girl again. She had done it the other night, but she had had a lot of time to think. "She deserves someone who is going to love her, Johnny. If you want to be with Lulu, you need to be with her. I can't be the girl that comes in the middle of that. I won't play second fiddle to anyone."

Reaching for her cup of coffee again, he took a long drink to give himself just a minute longer to think. He knew that he had to choose his words carefully. "You're not coming in the middle of something that wasn't already broken to start with."

"You need to tell her that, not me."

"I know," he replied. "I know."

"Can you do me a favor?"

Johnny looked over at her. He knew that he would kill for her. "Anything."

"Don't break my heart," she warned him. "If you choose Lulu, just tell me. Don't drag it out, don't make excuses. Just don't break my heart."

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He wanted to kiss here there, beneath the glow of the pale moon, but he knew that it would be risking a lot. "Someone's heart is going to get broken here. I'll do everything in my power to make sure it's not yours."

"What are we going to do?"

"Figure this out."

"Easier said than done," she muttered. "Is it bad that I want you to kiss me?"

"I was just thinking about that," he grinned. She leaned her head on his shoulder, allowing him briefly to brush a kiss over her forehead. It was subtle but sweet. "I need to get back in there…"

"Yeah."

Her reply was sad and broke his heart a little more than he expected. "I keep waiting to wake up and know exactly what I'm supposed to do here. Sometimes it's so clear to me. I found Lulu on the edge of town, and I thought it just had to be fate. I needed to believe that she would fix everything I thought was broken about my life," he confessed. "I was so sure I knew what that would relationship would be but I had no clue. I never knew that being with her would cause me to walk away from my family, from everything I've ever known. Now it's like I'm always fighting to hang onto the very things that define me – the things that made me the man she fell in love with. Every fight we have is about someone else, usually you or Claudia. I can't keep fighting with her over things I shouldn't have to apologize for."

Maxie thought about pointing out that he probably had something to apologize about when it came to her, but she knew that wasn't really the point. The point was that Lulu made him feel like someone he wasn't, and she knew what that could do to a person. She could so easily be his savior but she wouldn't. He needed to figure this out on his own. Unlike Lulu, she knew that she couldn't fix Johnny. He wasn't even as really broken as he thought he was. He would figure this out on his own and come out stronger on the other side for having gone through it. Maxie was a living testament to that.

"I don't know a lot about relationships. I've messed up a lot of good things in my life because someone thought they could save me. The thing I've come to realize is that the only person who can really save me is me," she told him. "Lulu loves you, Johnny. If you want to be with her, you have to let her. You just can't lose yourself in the process."

"That's the thing though," he countered. "I feel like I already have. I'm not this good guy that she wants me to be. I am the son of a mobster. No matter how much she wants me to be something different, I will always be a Zacharra. I will always do what it takes to protect my family and what's ours. Even if I am just a mechanic, I will still have this life in me. It's innate."

She thought not for the first time how she could live in this life with him and accept it blindly, having total faith that he would do what it kept to protect her from it. Maxie had believed in Johnny's ability to serve and protect long before she even liked him as a friend. "You seem to be fine with who you are, Johnny. That's a rare gift. Don't lose that for anyone – not even Lulu."

"You sound like Claud."

"Well, I could say a lot of things about your sister, but I would never call her a stupid woman. It's clear that she loves you more than anything or anyone in the world. You always talk about this secret that would destroy you and Lulu. I don't know much, but I know that it has something to do with Claudia. It's the only way you would keep a secret that big – to protect her."

"Maxie," he warned, "please don't go there. You would hate me, too."

Maxie shrugged. "Who am I to judge, Johnny? I've done a lot of horrible things in the past, stuff that you probably can't even imagine me doing. You know what I put Lulu through and the fact that I used pills to lure a married man into my bed for months. I'm not exactly innocent."

"Nothing like what I did…"

"I may be a lot of things, Zacharra, but I don't judge," she reminded him. "It's just not my style."

His fingers couldn't help but seek out hers again in the dark. This was the happiest he had been since that night in the kitchen, for those few hours when he had allowed himself to be completely lost in someone else. And it was different this time. He was just sitting on a fire escape with a pretty girl, holding her hand beneath the spring sky. A different version of him would be trying to put moves on Maxie, but he was perfectly content to sit here just like this with her.

"Someday I will tell you my secret."

And just like that, it was out there. Someday he knew that he would confess the truth to her. She would keep his secret and stand by his side despite knowing what a monster he could be. Maxie had seen him throw around his last name like it was the world's most powerful weapon, knowing that sometimes it was. It didn't scare her when she saw the fire in his eyes. In fact, it drove her to stand by his side and fight along with him. In the end, Johnny knew that was what he needed. He needed someone who was his equal, not someone who looked down at him or someone that he was going to have to protect. That had always been the problem with Lulu. He was always trying to be good enough for her or save her. Their love had always had a shelf date, and he knew that the relationship would soon reach its expiration.

"Well, you know where to find me," she nodded toward the window. "I'm going to go in."

"Yeah, I should get back in there," he said, echoing his earlier sentiment. He stood up and then helped Maxie to her feet. They were close to each other in the shadows of the night. Her hands slipped around his waist as she pulled him into a hug. He relaxed in her embrace, allowing a moment of brief comfort. "You're the girl I'm going to want."

"You're the boy I already do."

The whispered confession in the dark was more than anything Maxie had told a boy since Cooper had died. It spoke of an affection that went beyond friendship and admiration, like the bond she shared with Spinelli. Even if she hadn't wanted to admit, she had finally said the words aloud. She wanted to be with Johnny Zacharra just as much as he wanted to be with her.


	4. Chapter 4

"You know this is wrong, right?"

Johnny looked up over the edge of his cup of coffee and smiled at Maxie. They both knew that it was wrong, and yet, every day at noon when Maxie disappeared from the Crimson office for lunch, they just happened to find each other in this diner on the edge of town. Her foot rested gingerly in his lap beneath the table, her heel kicked off under her chair. He reached across the table for her hand, enjoying the fact that he could hold it in public without worrying about the scrutiny of half of Port Charles. He also didn't have to worry about Lulu happening upon them while running errands for Kate.

"Yeah, it's wrong," she acknowledged without looking up for her fashion magazine. They spent most of their lunches like this, just sitting together in silence while they read the newspaper. Sometimes they would talk, but he seemed content to just be there with her. "That's part of the fun for you, isn't it, Zacharra?"

"Why you sittin' all the way over there?"

"We are not going to be one of those couples that sit next to each other in a booth."

He smiled at her unexpectedly. She hadn't even realized what she had said until he smirked at her. "Oh, so we're going to be a couple?"

"Finish your lunch."

"Maxie likes me…"

She couldn't help but grin as he hooked his ankle around her chair and pulled it next to him. They looked just like any other couple, bickering and laughing at the corner table in the small café. Maxie liked feeling the normalcy she felt when she spent time with Johnny. It had been nearly two years since she had been half of a couple. She'd had Spinelli in her life, but it wasn't quite the same hanging out with a guy who doubled as your best friend. She was yet to tell the computer hacker the truth about her relationship with Johnny. She knew that it was only a matter of time before the rest of the world found out their secret. For the time being, however, she was choosing to prolong the inevitable.

"I do like you, Johnny," she confessed. Her voice was small and childlike, as if she was afraid to admit it to herself as much as she was afraid to tell him. This had the potential to matter to her more than any relationship before in her life. She loved the time that they spent together, the rare moments where she could quit pretending to be anything other than the person that she was. Johnny had quickly become the place she could go to when she needed to just be. He had come to be able to let his walls down around her, too. There was no pretending that they were perfect. All of their flaws were out there, completely on display for the other to see.

"I like you, too," he offered, lacing their fingers together. "It's funny how things work out, you know? When I first met you, I absolutely hated you. I couldn't stand you. I thought you were a selfish bitch who couldn't see past status or herself to get to really know someone. You were this conniving schemer out for blood when it came to what you wanted. As much as I didn't want to like you, I couldn't help but admire you. For all the things that you were, you didn't care how anyone saw you. You just were yourself, unapologetically and unabashedly."

A slight blush crept up her neck and onto her cheeks. Maxie rarely felt embarrassed. Guys were always telling her that she was beautiful or sexy. Girls complimented her makeup or her taste in clothes. However, very few people ever viewed her wild streak as anything worth celebrating. That was what made Johnny so different from everyone she had ever known. "I didn't want to like you either," she admitted. "You were this cocky, arrogant jerk who didn't see anything other than Lulu. You know, I never got what guys see in her, but I guess the whole damsel in distress thing can be appealing."

"I never really thought that I could save Lulu," he sighed, looking out the window to avoid her gaze. "I think I thought that it was more about wanting her to save me. I thought that I could never be the man I want to be and have my last name. That night when we were trapped in the garage changed all that. I realized that I could be a Zacharra and still live out my dream. I just can't hide in someone else."

"So what changed your mind about me? What made you like me?"

"That night in the garage I got to see an entirely different side of you, too. I had never really heard you talk about your sister. It was the first time I felt like someone understood why Claudia is so important to me. As much as Lulu loves Nikolas and Lucky, it's just not the same. She's never only had one person in the world to depend on, but you had that with Georgie. She was the one person you knew would always be at your side, whether you were shipped off to Texas to see your mom or were kidnapped or whatever. You had gone through everything with Georgie. Claud is that for me. Seeing how you loved your sister – it just showed me what kind of person you really are. I know you try hard to fight it, but I see it, Jones. You're a sweetheart underneath it all."

"Me sweet? Hardly," she scoffed. Spinelli was the first person to ever see that side of her, and now, Johnny was beginning to see the part of her heart she had worked hard to hide. It made her soft and vulnerable, gave someone the ability to hurt her. She had shown just glimpses of that person to Coop and Jesse, both instances ending in disaster. "We're too jaded to qualify as sweet."

A waitress came by to drop off their check. Maxie insisted on taking turns with him on paying the tab, today being his turn. Johnny dropped a few bills on the table before standing up to pull her to her feet. Wrapping his arm around her, he escorted her out of the restaurant and onto the quiet sidewalk outside. "Do you have to get back to work or what?"

"I have some time."

"Do you want to walk for awhile?"

"I could walk," she decided. They headed down the alley in the opposite direction of the rest of traffic. Port Charles was especially this beautiful this time of year. The cherry blossom trees had started to bloom, their fragrance filling the air. There were tulips and daffodils lining the sidewalks, the grass just starting to green. "You know what I miss?" Johnny raised his eyebrow, a sign for her to continue. "I miss the feeling of something new. It's been a long time since I had something new to look forward to,"

"This is something new."

"True," she acknowledged as they paused beneath a tree. Johnny leaned in and kissed her briefly. Pink petals rained down from the tree, falling into their hair and at their feet. Maxie reached up and picked a blossom from his dark locks as they pulled apart. "I wish that we could get out of town for awhile, just run away from Port Charles."

Cupping her cheek in his face, he fantasized for a moment what it would be like to hole up somewhere with Maxie for a few days. He knew that his body would ache in the best way possible for weeks afterward, but it would be completely worth it. As tempting as it was, he knew that they just couldn't hide from their lives. This had become their reality. "We might not be able to run away, but we can spend some time alone just the two of us," he revealed. "I have a room above Jake's. It's not much, but Coleman gave it to me when I started doing work for him on the side. Lulu doesn't know that I have it. I've kept it just in case I need to get away. We could meet there sometimes, pretend that we're the only ones that exist."

"You know that we can't hide this forever…"

"I know."

"You didn't let me finish," she cut him off. "We can't hide this forever, but I want to find out where it's going before we let everyone in on our secret. I know that there is something to this, Johnny, or we wouldn't keep coming back to it."

Johnny had never seen innocence in Maxie's eyes, but it was shining there now. She wholly believed what she was saying, and he couldn't help but love her a little bit for it. He leaned in for another kiss, pressing his forehead to hers when they broke apart. "There is definitely something here."

"What is it?"

He wasn't ready to tell her that it was love, but he knew that it was starting to turn into that. It was so much more than he would have ever expected to find in her. She was the antithesis of everything he had wanted for his life – the total opposite of the stable and kind woman he had envisioned for his life outside the mob. However, she was someone who understood him, someone who accepted him, someone who wanted him, someone who needed him. Even more than that, she was someone he understood, someone he accepted, someone he wanted, someone he needed.

"It's us."

"We are kind of indescribable, aren't we?" she smiled. Her little smirk was as brilliant as the warm April sun. "I keep waiting for your charms to wear thin, but you are still finding all these ways to surprise me. My dad is going to hate you. Spinelli is going to be mad at me. You're going to tear my life apart or I'm going to do it to you. You're absolutely perfect for me."

"You're a masochist," he laughed as he listened to her go on about the pain that he could cause in her life. They both knew that she was equally as powerful. However, they both loved the thrill of potential disaster. It didn't scare either of them in the slightest. The only thing that either of them was afraid of was the idea of something real. That was the real fear factor here. "But then again, I have been known to make pain feel good."

They turned the corner to return to the parking lot where their cars were parked side by side. Maxie slipped her hand into his jeans pocket and pulled out his keys. "I'm going to blow off the afternoon," she decided as she turned to face him. "I am going to drive your car across town to this dive bar and head up to a room upstairs. Care to join me?"

"What about your car?"

"We can get it later or you can come back and pick it up. Either way, I am going to drive your car over to Jake's and have a little fun in your room. Unless you want to make this a solo mission, I suggest you make an appearance. I can pretty much promise that it'll be worth your while."

He slid his hand to the back of her bare neck before pulling her hard against his body. "As hot as it is thinking about you making the trip alone, I'm much too selfish not to at least see the show."

"Well, we do have all afternoon. We probably have enough time for me to go it alone and for you to make a companion flight," she insinuated. Johnny stared at her frost lips as she licked them in teasing anticipation. "I'm kind of down for whatever you want."

"My kind of girl," he chuckled as he pulled open the driver's door for her to slip behind the wheel. He jogged around to the other side. Putting the car in reverse, Maxie pressed her red heel hard on the accelerator before pulling out onto the street. She sped the car up even more as the quiet city street turned into the busy freeway. He laughed as the odometer passed the twenty over mark. "Yeah, you're definitely my kind of girl."


	5. Chapter 5

It was some time in the middle of the night before Maxie woke up in the small and dingy room above Jake's. Johnny was beside her, propped up on an elbow as he watched her sleep. She smiled hazily under his watchful gaze before throwing her arms over her face sheepishly. She had never been a big fan of the intimacy that came in the afterglow of sex, even when it had come from a man who had loved her as wholly as Cooper had.

"Can you not stare at me?"

Under ordinary circumstances, Johnny knew that Maxie enjoyed the attention, but she always crawled back inside herself whenever they were together like this. She was completely open to him before they had sex, when they would just sit there and talk about nothing and everything. She was also a pretty willing participant during, but afterward, he always felt like he lost the biggest part of her. It was something he had never really experienced with another woman. Most girls were clingy after, but it wasn't Maxie's style at all. She wouldn't really let him hold her for too long, electing to crawl over to the other side of the bed before she fall asleep. It was a challenge to him now, a battle to have her in his arms afterwards. He felt like he had to overcome this to possess her completely. Maybe a girl like Maxie Jones was going to prove too wild to want to be tamed, even by likes of the dangerous Johnny Zacharra.

"I can't help it, you're just so damn beautiful and sexy."

While she doubted that she oozed sex appeal while she slept with her mouth half-open and her hair tangled around her face, she appreciated the compliment anyhow and awarded him with a long kiss. "We should probably get going pretty soon. Lulu is going to start wondering where we are if one of us doesn't show up at the apartment," she told him as she started to reach for the discarded clothes on the floor beside the bed. Johnny grabbed her wrist to stop her, rolling on top of her body so that she couldn't escape. Maxie giggled and pleaded for him to get off, feigning displeasure at having his taut body covering hers.

"I'm not buying it, Jones," he retorted with a mischievous chuckled before burying his face in her neck. Johnny laid a small trail of kisses over the top of her bare shoulder, eliciting a delicious shiver from her. "That's my girl."

Three little words were enough to send Maxie crashing back to reality. Just as she was about to give in and lose herself in him again, he had to go and remind her what the situation was really like. While it was all good fun to pretend that they were together while they were holed up in this dive, she would eventually have to return to her real life, one where she was betraying Spinelli and Johnny would go back to Lulu. "I mean it, get off me," she ordered him, pushing firmly on his shoulders until he fell to her side heavily.

"What the hell was that?" Johnny asked irritably as he watched Maxie spring from the bed and start to collect her various items of clothing around the room. He hated when she snapped like this, going from completely into him to the point where she can't stand for him to even touch her. The only thing he wanted to do was hold her in his arms but she couldn't seem to get far enough from him. Sliding from the bed, he didn't even attempt to cover his bare body as he reached for her. "Maxie, what's wrong? What did I do?"

Her eyes dropped to the ground as she threw her bra resolutely on the bed. "You called me your girl," she said sadly. The regret in her voice was so deep that Johnny physically recoiled. He could hear the pain in her tone and it killed him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him, surprised that she would let him hold her. "Johnny, I'm not Lulu. She's your girl. We can't just pretend that's changed."

He finally understood what had kept the distance between him and Maxie all these weeks when they had been sleeping together behind Lulu and Spinelli's backs. Johnny had long thought that it was because she felt bad about hurting two people that they both cared about, but now he understood that it was because she was afraid to hurt herself. For all her talk about self-inflicted emotional wounds, Maxie was working really hard to protect her heart around him. That spoke volumes to Johnny. It was the first true indication that he had that she was starting to think of him as something more than just a hook-up.

"Oh, pretty girl," he sighed as he pressed his forehead to hers. Maxie looked up into his eyes, his dark orbs blurring together from their close proximity. "I know that the situation hasn't changed, but the way I feel about everything is completely different. The way I feel about you is so much more than I would have ever thought. You're who I want, Maxie. You're all I want and I don't just mean in my bed."

"Then why are you with her?"

"Because until this very moment, I never thought that you were going to want to give yourself to me," he admitted. He knew that it was wrong that he had kept Lulu around just because he didn't want to be alone, but when it came down to it, that's all his relationship with her had become. She was a placeholder for Maxie. "Maxie, don't you see it? You're my something real."

_She was his something real._ Maxie had been a lot of things to different guys – a fragile little girl, an easy lay, an object of affection, a challenge to overcome – but she had never been someone's something real. "I want you to break up with her. Maybe it's not fair of me to ask that but I am. I can't do this anymore. It's getting too dangerous. I feel more than I should feel for you, Johnny, and it scares the hell out of me."

He nodded understandably. He had known that the time was coming for awhile and had already committed himself to telling Lulu the truth whenever Maxie asked. "If I tell her, you have to tell him."

"I know," she nodded. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest. Maxie slipped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, wanting their embrace to be enough to drown out the pain she felt at having to break her best friend's heart. Spinelli was never going to be able to forgive her for this. She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. "I need you to understand something."

"What's that?"

Maxie took a deep breath before speaking. She was about to tell a guy more than she had ever said to a man before when it came to how she felt. "I need you to know that I am breaking Spinelli's heart for you. I need you to know how much that means to me, how much you mean to me. Spinelli has been really good to me, better than any man other than Mac has ever been to me in my life. He has loved me so selflessly and completely, and I haven't really deserved that love. While he was over there pining away for me, I was busy falling for you. I might be giving up my best friend in the world for you. Maybe it's not fair to put that kind of pressure on you but I need you to get what this means to me."

Johnny had known before she had even said the words what this meant. He knew how she had struggled with the subject of Spinelli and his heart went out to her. As much as she was okay with crashing her own life, her main objective had been to protect her best friend. "I get it," he vowed, kissing the top of her head. "I can't take his place, Maxie, I don't even want to try. But if you let me – really let me – I think I can create a place all my own. You're not the only one who has fallen here."

"What's that mean?"

"Well, what did you mean when you said that you'd fallen for me?"

Maxie giggled girlishly and shook her head. "No way, I am not saying it first."

"What?" he asked innocently, grinning at her like a Cheshire cat.

"You know what!"

"What's that?" he asked again as he wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled into her big blue eyes. The very definition of what he was about to say could be found in her gaze. It was so evident to him now that he wasn't sure how he had missed it before. "That I love you? 'Cause I do, you know." His tone changed from teasing to serious. "I love you, Maxie."

Even though she knew he was going to say it and that they had both been feeling it for awhile, it still surprised her slightly to finally hear him say the words. She had only ever loved Cooper and Jesse in this way, and it didn't even start to compare to how she felt about Johnny. Just like she was his something real, he was her something more. "I love you, too, Johnny."

After exchanging a long kiss, Johnny helped Maxie find the rest of her clothing and get dressed. They couldn't stay here all night, as much as he wanted nothing more to hold her. It was time that they both told the truth, something they would do together. He wouldn't let Maxie go through it alone, and she seemed bound and determined to be at his side when he told Lulu. He wanted her there. He felt so much stronger knowing that Maxie was on his side. It was nice to have someone there besides just Claudia.

"Do you want to go back and get your car before going home?"

Maxie was standing at the window, watching as the first rays of the morning sun came over the horizon. Despite their best efforts, they had stayed out all night. Lulu was going to be livid, not that it really mattered much anymore. The blonde Spencer girl was about to get her heart broken. "There's somewhere I want to take you first."

Johnny looked at her suspiciously. Once they had finished dressing, Johnny led Maxie down the stairs by the hand and out to the car. He followed her directions as they drove to the edge of town. He didn't realize where they were until he got out of the car and saw the rows of marble tombstones. Slipping his hand in Maxie's, he immediately understood where they were going and why they were here. She shivered next to him from the cold morning's breeze. He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders before reaching for her hand again.

Stopping just outside the gate, Maxie turned and looked up at Johnny. "If Georgie was still here, she would be the first person I would want to tell about us," she explained. "She was always the one I told all my secrets to, even when I knew she wouldn't approve. She always loved me no matter what I did. I miss having someone who believed in me like she did. She would hate that I did this, but I also know that she would be happy to see me like this. She'd tell me that you were too dangerous and that you were going to break my heart, but she would also know that I was happily in love with you. In a way that only Georgie could pull off, she would be supportive of our relation ship. She might just be the only one who would have been on our side."

Holding the gate open for Maxie, Johnny followed her inside the small cemetery and toward the back to the Scorpio family plot where Mac had buried his youngest daughter. Maxie let go of his hand as she knelt to the ground in front of Georgie's grave. She wiped away dust from the engraved letters of her name and laid the bundle of daffodils she had picked at the cemetery entrance. "Hey, Georgie, sorry I haven't been here in a few weeks. I miss you," she murmured softly. "I came to tell you something. I guess you probably already know. I felt you the other day or at least what I like to think is you. I was wondering what I should do and just like that, you came to me. I listened, Georgie. I listened to my heart and told him the truth."

"I wanted you to be the first person to know because you might just be the only person who is going to be happy for us," she acknowledged. "I know it's not going to be easy, but it's what I have to do. It's time to tell the truth because I don't think I could bear the alternative. I either have to tell the truth or lose him. I can't lose someone else that I love, Georgie, not after you…"

Johnny heard the tears in her voice as he dropped to his knees behind her. He wrapped his arms around her small frame and prayed that he could bring her some kind of comfort. Maxie turned around in his embrace and clung to him. "You're not going to lose me."

"I'm going to lose them, though."

He nodded slightly, agreeing that there was a chance. "Maybe," he relented. He could lie to her, but Maxie would never believe him. "But if Spinelli really cares about you, he will find a way to forgive you. He'll want to keep you in his life. Mac and Robin will find a way to support you. These are the people that love you, Maxie. That kind of love doesn't just go away. Trust me, I've tried to stop loving people in my life. No matter how crazy my dad has been, he's still my father. It's been hard to love Claudia at times, but she is one of the two most important people in my life. God knows that I didn't want to love you. I think you'll find your family feels the same way given the chance."

"And if they don't?"

"Then you have me," he promised. "I'll be your family."

"It's you and me versus the world, huh?"

"Would you really have it any other way?"

Maxie shook her head as she settled back into his arms. "I'll be your family, too."

"That's my girl," he said again, but this time, Maxie smiled instead of pulling away.


	6. Chapter 6

"Johnny, you have to get up now!"

Throwing his hand over his face to block out the harsh sunlight flooding through the dingy windows in the tiny room above Jake's, Johnny rolled over and muttered harsh curse words under his breath. Maxie grunted in frustration as she ripped the blanket out from beneath him, sending him to the floor. "I'm serious, Zacharra, out of bed now! We slept through the night, and I'm fairly sure that your girlfriend is going to go looking for you soon."

He knew that he should care more than he did, but he threw all thoughts of Lulu and Spinelli out the window as he reached for Maxie and dragged her to the floor. Pinning her arms above her head, he whispered his naughtiest thoughts in her ear. She giggled girlishly before pushing Johnny away gently. "Come on, Jones, I was just getting started."

"I'll make you a deal," she bargained as she stood back up and reached for her skirt. Johnny watched appreciatively as she dressed, covering the skin he had come to covet so much with the designer garb that she loved just as much. There was nothing sexier than watching a woman dress, especially a girl like Maxie. "If you get up and get around, I will have breakfast with you before we go back to the apartment. Who knows, this might be the last quiet meal we have before the truth comes out."

Johnny grumbled to himself as he accepted the jeans that she had in her outstretched hand. He dressed as quickly as she had undressed him the night before. This was the first night that they had spent together, and he couldn't remember a time that he had slept more fitfully. "You know that I don't care how everyone else takes this, Maxie."

"You care about Lulu and how she takes it, so you might as well quit lying to yourself and me," she told him as she tried to regain control of her blonde hair. Johnny knew that she was a perfectionist about how she looked, but he loved her with bedhead. With her hair wild and free around those big blue eyes, Maxie was pure walking sex. "And even if you don't care what your girlfriend thinks, I still care about Spinelli. Johnny, you know how I feel about you, but you also know how I feel about him."

He moved to wrap her in his arms and buried his face in her neck. "Don't worry, pretty girl."

She turned around and pressed her forehead to his. She loved moments like this, where they were both completely vulnerable and honest with how they felt about each other. "I don't want to walk out of here. We're safe in here. No one can change anything when we're in this place, but I know that as soon as we breathe that fresh air, it's all over," she murmured softly. "You are so much to me, Johnny. I know what I'm risking telling you this, but I don't care anymore. I'm still going to be this complicated girl, but this part of me doesn't want it to be hard. I just want us to have a chance."

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, he held her gaze for a long moment. "I never wanted to be with anyone. I thought that my life was too dangerous to ever have someone in it. I tried to change who I was to be with Lulu, but we both know that was never going to work. I don't feel like I have to be someone else with you, Jones. We can knock back beers all night, go home to make love for hours and then spend all night talking. You're not just the kind of girl I've fallen in love with, you're also the girl who I can see being my best friend. I wouldn't say that we just have a chance. You're kind of it for me."

Maybe they weren't exactly the sweetest words, but hearing Johnny tell her that she was it for him was enough to elicit a long kiss. They held each other after, knowing that today changed everything. This moment changed everything. "Let's go get that breakfast."

"Do you want to go first and I'll follow?"

"We're going together," he declared, entwining their hands together. The two of them walked out of the room and downstairs to the main room of Jake's. Coleman was already behind the bar, putting away glasses and emptying ashtrays from the night before. Johnny nodded knowingly to the scraggly man. They had an understanding. Johnny wrote the check every month and Coleman minded his own business. "So, where do you want to go to breakfast?"

"Oh, my gosh."

Maxie looked up at the stunned declaration, her eyes meeting a familiar blonde. Spinelli was right beside Lulu, his hand resting on the hood of Johnny's car. Johnny's grip on her hand tightened as he moved instinctively in front of her. "Lulu, what are you doing here?"

Lulu looked stunned as she looked at her boyfriend clinging to her roommate. Maxie was looking past the blonde at her best friend. "Lucky called this morning looking for Maxie. Apparently she ditched her car at a café on the edge of the town, and they were starting to worry about her," she said, her voice still numb. "Cruz said that he saw Maxie here last night. He failed to mention that she was with my boyfriend and that they intended to spend the night together. It must have slipped his mind."

"Lulu…" Maxie said, her eyes finally breaking from Spinelli long enough to look at her other friend.

"No!" Lulu screamed, holding up her hand in front of her. "You do not get to talk right now. I cannot believe that either of you would lie to me like this. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised given what happened with Logan and Maxie. I should have known that slut would go crawling to every guy that loved me just because she was jealous. You hate to see anyone else happy, Maxie. I just never thought that Johnny was this guy. You were supposed to love me. Guess that doesn't mean much to the Zacharra family, huh? I thought you were all about the loyalty."

Johnny took a step away from Maxie and reached out to touch Lulu's shoulder. "Maybe we should go somewhere and talk…"

"Leave the Original Blonde One alone. Keep your hands off her!" Spinelli said suddenly as he sprung to action. It was clear that he was finally realizing what had happened. "I always knew that you would ruin our lives, but I had no idea just how far you would go to shatter us completely."

Maxie wasn't sure if he was talking to her or if he was referring to Johnny. "I am so sorry."

"No, you're not," Lulu said emphatically. "You're just sorry that you got caught."

"Shut up, Lulu," Maxie snapped. She knew that she had been wrong with Johnny. She had a lot of apologizing to do, and she would never be able to take back what had happened. However, she was not about to let Lulu impact how Spinelli dealt with this. Whatever happened between them, it stayed between them. She wouldn't even give Spinelli up for Johnny. "Spinelli, can we talk about this?"

He shook his eyes as he looked down at his feet. He didn't feel strong enough to do this right now. He just wanted to go back to the Casa de Stone Cold and curl up in the regrettably pink room and forget that this day had ever happened. He wanted to rewind the last twenty-four hours and show up before Maxie ever slinked off what that guy. He wanted to go back days and weeks and months and insist more that she stay away from him. He couldn't do any of those things. He could only try to hold back the tears and get out of here. "No."

"Please," she implored, breaking away from Johnny and pushing past Lulu. She grabbed for him, knowing that everything would be fine if she could just hug him. "Spinelli, I'm so sorry."

"I shouldn't have ever believed…"

"Believed what?" she cried, tears falling down her cheek.

Spinelli's first reaction was to wipe them away, but he couldn't be that person for her. She didn't deserve it, and the way he had seen her looking at Johnny earlier indicated that she didn't want him to be that anymore. "I believed that you had changed, that you were no longer the Bad Blonde One," he shook his head sadly. "I thought that you had actually grown up in the past year after you lost Faithful Georgie. She would be so disappointed in you, even more than me. I can't believe that after all that we have been through, I find myself here again. You're still trying to hurt the Blonde One, and even more than that, I hate you again. Congratulations, Maxie, you always told me that you would break my heart and ruin our friendship. Mission accomplished."

"You just called me Maxie," she pointed out. He never called her that. He always had nicknames for everyone, even people that he didn't like. She knew that the fact that he had made it a point to use her given name indicated just how angry he was. "Spinelli, you called me Maxie."

A silent nod was his only response. Lulu looked between the two before turning back to her own boyfriend. "You know what sucks the most, Johnny? It's not that you said you loved me. It's not even the fact that you did with this Maxie. It's the fact that you knew all of my fears and you still did this to me anyways. You could have turned to anyone else if you wanted to screw me over, but you chose her on purpose. You've wanted to end things with me for awhile. Well, congratulations, Johnny, we're over."

"If that's what you want."

"Are you serious?" she spat, shaking her head incredulously. "It's what you want. I'm the stupid girl who is still in love with you."

"You're not stupid, Lulu," he insisted. "This isn't your fault. It's not even Maxie's. It's mine."

Lulu shook her head. "I know my part in this, Johnny. I didn't want to see what was right in front of me. I might not have been the one that cheated but I'm the one who stayed when I knew that it was over," she said sadly. "I want both of you out of the apartment tonight."

"My name is on the lease, Lulu," Maxie argued. "You can't just kick me out."

"I don't give a damn whose name is on the lease, Maxie. You are moving out," Lulu retorted as she turned around and headed back toward her car. She tugged on Spinelli's sleeve to pull him after her. "You just stay away from us – both of you. Spinelli doesn't want to see you and neither do I."

Johnny stepped back to Maxie's side and slid his hand around her shoulder. "That's your choice."

"No, it wasn't," Spinelli said, looking straight in Maxie's eyes. "You did this."

Both Johnny and Maxie were silent as their two former counterparts slammed the door to Lulu's SUV and pulled out of the Jake's parking lot in a cloud of dust. Maxie let go of Johnny and fell to her knees in the gravel, not caring if she tore her skirt or ruined her heels. Nothing mattered anymore because Spinelli was right. She had done this. She had broken her best friend's heart and ruined the best thing that had ever happened to her. It didn't matter how much she loved Johnny. He was supposed to be her essential person, but she had discarded him like she didn't care. Deep inside, Maxie knew that Spinelli knew differently, but it was going to be a long time before he could see past his own heartache and pain.

"It's going to be okay, Maxie," he said softly, kneeling beside her. "We'll figure it out."

Tears fell freely from her blue eyes as she went inside herself. "No, Johnny, it's not okay."


	7. Chapter 7

After Maxie had calmed down enough to hold herself together, Johnny had driven her across town to retrieve her car. He had wanted to stay with her and make sure that she was okay, but she insisted on going to work just like she would on any other day. The last thing she wanted to do was give Lulu the power to take her job away. With a lingering kiss and a promise to catch up with him later, she had rode off in a cloud of dust toward the Crimson office, leaving him alone to figure out what to do with his suddenly open day.

Too much time on his hands is what had led him here, sitting in the dim living room at Greystone waiting for Claudia to come downstairs. Sonny's butler had already set up a sizable breakfast on the terrace and served Johnny with freshly squeezed orange juice. His brother-in-law was nowhere in sight, but Claudia had told him on the telephone that Sonny was in Puerto Rico for the next few days tending to business there.

"John!" her familiar voice called as she came down the stairs. As much as he hated to admit it, marriage seemed to agree with Claudia. She was happier than she had been in years, even blissful at times. Johnny still wasn't crazy about the fact that she was so wrapped up in the Corinthos organization, but he knew that there was no reasoning with his sister when she was on a mission. Her long and toned arms entwined around him as she hugged him tightly. "I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks. You look like hell. What's wrong?"

"It's only been two days, Claud," he laughed, following her outside to attend to their feast of garden omelets and turkey bacon. "As for looking like hell, you'll actually like what I'm about to say. Lulu and I broke up this morning."

She didn't even pretend to feign condolence for her brother as she clapped her hands giddily. She had made no bones about the fact that she hated Lulu Spencer. She was a whiny little brat who couldn't even begin to be worthy of a man like her brother. Lulu had put Johnny in bad situation after bad situation, even going as far as to convince him to walk away from his rightful place in the Zacharra family. Johnny and Claudia had fought too long and too often about his relationship with Lulu.

"I'm not going to tell you I'm sorry if that's what you're waiting to hear," she declared with a triumphant smile. "However, I will tell you that I'm sorry that this is hurting you. I always told you that girl would break your heart."

"She didn't exactly do the breaking."

"John, you just said that she broke up with you. If Lulu isn't the one who broke your heart, then why would she break up with you?" Claudia asked suspiciously. She knew that there were only two reasons that her brother would ever hurt the girl he supposedly loved. One included another girl, while the other meant that he would be returning to the fold. She was praying for the latter. "Does this mean that you're here to talk to Sonny about finding a place for you?"

He looked at his sister and rolled his eyes. Her mind was always on the business and how he could get ahead. "I will not be working for Sonny. If I am going to be in the business, it will be on my terms, Claud," he informed her matter-of-factly. She smiled in admiration at his moxie. He was very much her brother. "Actually, there's this girl."

"Ah, there's always a girl."

Johnny smirked at his sister. Few people ever got to see this side of her, and he counted himself lucky for getting a glimpse at the fresh-faced woman sitting across from him. "Maxie Jones," he retorted. "We've been, uh, hanging out for awhile. I was actually going to break up with Lulu and tell her everything when she and Spinelli found us outside Jake's this morning. I guess we slept through the night, and her abandoned car at a diner across town set off the PCPD."

"Well, her dad is the police chief," Claudia pointed out. "Come on, John, Maxie Jones?"

"I figured you'd like her more than Lulu."

"I do," she said hesitantly. In fact, Claudia had targeted Maxie last summer with the intent to break up Johnny's relationship with Lulu. "I just don't want you to get all wrapped up in another girl when you should be focusing on getting your place back in the business. We've got a lot of leverage here, John. We could so easily have everything that we have ever wanted."

Raking his fingers through his hair, Johnny looked over his sister's shoulder and thought about all the strings that her marriage to Sonny had connected to it. "Don't worry, Maxie is supportive of whatever I want to do when it comes to the family business and my place in it."

"So you're coming back?"

"I haven't decided yet," he answered, "but when I do, you will be the first person to know. We still have to be careful, Claud. Sonny doesn't know the truth and neither does Maxie. We both know what he'll do to you – to both of us – if and when he finds out. I'm not sure how she'd take it. I just know that I can't keep it a secret forever."

"No, John, you promised," Claudia hissed angrily. She had kept her secret from everyone except Ric, and now they both knew where that had gotten her. Maxie already knew too much about their family dealings. She couldn't risk letting another outsider in on their secret. "You cannot tell her."

Johnny pushed his chair back and came around to kneel in front of Claudia. "I can't lie to her, Claud, I'm in love with her," he murmured. "I know Maxie better than I know anyone except for you. She would never betray me. I actually think that she would kind of understand. I'm not saying that she will be happy, but she has to know everything that she is getting herself into by being with me."

Claudia knew that there was a lot about his statement that she should be focusing on but she could only hear the fact that her brother was already in love with another blonde. She could tell by his tone that he was serious and confident in his feelings for Maxie. There was something there that had never been present when he spoke of Lulu. "You've really fallen hard for this girl, haven't you?"

He couldn't believe that he was thinking these thoughts, let alone about to express them out loud to his sister. Once he said them, it would make them real. "I think she might be the one."

"Oh, God, you've gotten sentimental," Claudia shrieked, pushing her brother playfully before standing up to hug him. "John, if this girl makes you happy and she is truly worthy of your love, then I am going to do my best to be supportive. At least Maxie doesn't snivel and can actually dress. She also has a dark side that I can appreciate. You know that she is going to have to meet my approval."

"Of course," he chuckled, feeling much like the little brother that he was to Claudia. She was the only family he had that mattered, and her opinion had always meant a lot to him. It had always killed him that she hated Lulu as much as she did, but he had always understood why. Claudia had been able to see what he had been blind to for so long. "Now, what are you doing for the rest of today?"

Claudia shrugged. She didn't really have that many plans outside working redecorating the living room. "Not much, why?"

"Because I need to find somewhere to live," he announced. "Preferably somewhere big enough for two people to cohabitate comfortably. And big closets. Big closets are especially important."

"You cannot be serious about moving in with her."

"I don't know what will happen, but I want to be ready for whatever comes my way," Johnny replied. "Maxie isn't exactly going to be able to go on living with Lulu, and that apartment was never really good enough for a princess like her anyhow. I'm not sure where she is going to end up, but I want my home to be an option for her."

His sister threw her head back and laughed heartily as they headed down the exterior stairs to where a limousine was waiting for them in the driveway. It only took Claudia one call to set up an entire afternoon's worth of the best real estate showings that Port Charles had to offer. Johnny listened to his sister do her magic while he typed a text message to Maxie telling her about his plans. She sent a quick reply wishing him luck. She reminded him to check out the closets. Apparently those closets were worth mentioning twice.

They visited a pair of penthouses, a bungalow near the harbor, a cottage on the edge of town and a small mansion just near Greystone before Johnny and Claudia came upon the perfect little villa just a few blocks from the Metrocourt. As soon as he stepped foot in the grand entry way and spotted the dark hearth room through the doorway, he knew that he had found the place that he was going to call home. With his trust fund reinstated, he was able to make that dream a reality rather quickly. He left Claudia to do the negotiations while he traversed the upstairs, imagining all the places he could take Maxie. There was a spacious bathtub that would provide a perfect opportunity. He thought that the small loft at the top of the staircase would be a great place for her to sketch. This little adventure in real estate really had him imagining a future with Maxie.

He made his way out to a balcony off the master bedroom and pulled his cell phone from his pocket to call Maxie. He started to dial the office but realized rather quickly that could lead to an uncomfortable conversation with Lulu. Her cell phone rang twice before her bubbly voice filled his ear. "Hey, pretty girl."

"Hello, handsome," she purred back, her voice muffled. He could imagine her working away at her desk, the phone tucked under her chin while she rifled through mail or sorted samples. "Did you find something yet?"

"Claudia is finishing the deal downstairs," he answered. "Do you want to come see it?"

"Of course!" she exclaimed happily. "How soon do you think you'll be able to move in?"

Johnny smiled at how glad she seemed for him. "I told Claudia to get me the keys tonight, so I'm guessing that I can get everything taken care of in the morning."

"Good, I don't think we will be able to hang out at the apartment much."

"We don't have to hang out there at all if you don't want."

"I live there, Johnny," she reminded him. "I can't exactly afford to pay to get out of my lease right now. I still owe six months rent."

"I told you that I would pay your half."

Maxie didn't want to be someone else that Johnny had to take care of in his life. He had had that kind of relationship with Lulu, and it was something that Maxie had always looked down on. "I don't want you to do that, Zacharra."

"Then come live with me."

"Johnny..."

"Just think about it, Jones," he implored. "You have to pay your rent so pay it. Live with me and pay for your room until the lease is up. You get to be independent, Lulu doesn't have to deal with either of us, and I get to have you with me every day. We all win."

"I haven't even seen the closet."

"Does that mean you'll think about it?"

She giggled girlishly on the other end of the line. Of course she would think about it. She was in love with a guy offering her this entire life that she had always wanted. "Yeah, I'll think about it," she promised. "Look, I have to go or I'll never get out of here. We'll talk more about this after work."

"Just meet me here," he told her. "I'll text you the address."

"Okay," she replied before answering Kate in the background. "I better jet."

"Alright, I'll see you in awhile," he said. "Hey, Jones?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she promised before disconnected the call.

Johnny shoved his phone back into his pocket and returned his gaze on the sparkling horizon that was the Port Charles skyline. Everything was perfect right now, but it would only be a matter of time before his relationship was tested again. He had to tell Maxie the truth and risk everything. He wouldn't love another woman with this big secret between them. She deserved more than that. Hell, they deserved more than that.

He just hoped that the closets were big enough.


	8. Chapter 8

It was well after seven before Johnny stepped off the elevator, his body exhausted from the long day. He had finally settled on his house and secured the pair of keys that would give him freedom from his family, from his ex-girlfriend, from everything that he no longer wanted to tie him down. Only Claudia knew where his new home was, and other than Maxie, he didn't really plan on sharing his address any time soon. It was nice to have that kind of freedom, a first for him. Even as the heaviness of the inevitable conversation he had to have with Maxie weighed on his mind, Johnny was looking forward to seeing his favorite blonde.

She was perched atop her desk when he came into the main foyer of Crimson, her head bent over in deep concentration as she poured over proofs of that month's issue. A yellow pencil kept her hair off her swanlike neck in a messy bun, wild tendrils framing her face. "Hey, beautiful," he called as he came over to her. A genuine smile lit up her eyes as she jumped down to meet him. "I missed you today."

"It still weirds me out a little bit when you're so sweet," she confessed after kissing him briefly. The truth was that she had missed him today, too. It had been hell working side by side with Lulu, but she had managed to be the consummate professional and get through the day. Her only solace had been that she would get to see him tonight. "Where are you taking me for dinner?"

"I was thinking my new house," he offered. He had stopped by Kelly's to pick-up takeout on his way to get her, and Claudia had sent one of the guards over with a full picnic setup that was waiting for them in his new living room. "Just you and me and a little candlelight, what do you say?"

"Sounds perfect," she retorted. She closed the book and tossed it back on her desk carelessly before reaching for her purse and keys. Kate and Clarice were still in a meeting and were not to be disturbed. After rattling off an email to her boss and setting the phones to go directly to voicemail, she reached for her boyfriend's hand and pulled him off toward the elevator. She was ready to go home, wherever home was going to be from now on.

The drive to the small house was short, conveniently located within walking distance from her office. Maxie couldn't help but picture midday rendezvoused in his loft bedroom or drinks at the quaint little bar just around the corner from his place. As soon as she came into the house, those dreams went even further. She could almost see small dinner parties with Mac, Robin, Patrick and Emma in the dining room. She could see how she would arrange the furniture in the living room to take advantage of the natural lighting and the way she would set up one of the spare bedroom for a home office so Johnny could work from the comfort of his new house. However, it wasn't until she came into the master suite that she appreciated just how much of her Johnny had seen in this house.

"Oh, my God."

Johnny chuckled as she stood in the middle of the closet, which was about the same size as the spare bedroom, and spun slowly in a circle. From the customized shelving to the numerous racks for clothes to the nooks for shoes and handbags, it was perhaps one of those most beautiful sites Maxie had ever seen. "I take it you approve."

"That doesn't even begin to describe it," she cooed as she ran her hand along the polished island in the middle of the room. It was built with small drawers perfect for jewelry. There were his and hers sides, making it the perfect place for the two of them. "Johnny, this is beautiful."

"I wanted you to feel at home here," he admitted. "Even if you choose not to live with me, I want it to be somewhere you are comfortable. I'm hoping that you'll spend a lot of time here. Maxie, I know it's crazy that we're talking about living together already, but neither of are known for our logic and rational. We lead with our emotions, and right now, everything in my body is telling me that this is the start of something big."

Maxie was justifiably terrified at how quickly everything had unfolded between them, but she couldn't even begin to regret finding herself with him after just a matter of weeks. "I want to live with you."

"That's it?" he asked. Every big decision with Lulu had required hours of conversation, so he had a hard time believing that it could really be that simple. "You're going to make it that easy on me?"

"You want me here, and I want to be here with you," she shrugged. "I can do the girl thing and make you analyze your every feeling, but I honestly don't really want to have that conversation. I know what I want. I've never lived with anyone, though. I might not be very good at it."

There was a good chance that neither of them would be very good at it. Johnny had always liked his space, needing to retreat inside himself whenever life got to be too much. There would be no doing that if he was to cohabitate with Maxie. They wouldn't just be sharing a house and a bed, they would be sharing a life. That was a big step, the biggest he'd ever taken in his life. Maxie was very much the same way. She was used to relying on only herself, especially since she had lost her sister. It would be an adjustment that they would have to make, but Johnny felt eerily confident that they could do this.

He threaded his fingers in her hair and cradled her close to him. "We'll be fine."

She liked the promise that she heard in his voice. Unlike most of the men in her past, she actually believed Johnny when he said those kinds of things to her. He had no reason to lie. She had already been willing to give him everything when she was asking for nothing in return. "I love you, you know?"

"Yeah, me too," he grinned down at her, kissing the tip of her nose. "We have dinner downstairs if you're hungry or I could take you for a walk around the grounds."

"Actually, I spotted that box on the counter downstairs. What's that for?"

Johnny had actually missed the cardboard parcel resting on the granite countertop in the spacious gourmet kitchen. He followed Maxie down the stairs and watched as she tore it open. Her face was perplexed as she pulled out the leather-bound album and handed it over to him. Johnny knew what it was immediately. He had seen it on his father's bookcase in the study for most of his life. Embossed with the family crest, it had been one of Anthony's most prized possessions.

Maxie watched curiously as he flipped through the pages, his eyes locked on the snapshots that lined each page. She recognized the miniature version of Johnny immediately, with his glittering dark eyes and crooked smile. There were also a few photographs with Claudia. However, most of them were of Johnny with a statuesque Italian beauty, her eyes the same as Johnny's. "That's your mother."

He nodded silently as he sunk to his knees, resting the book in his lap. He traced the outline of his mother's face in one photo of them together on Christmas morning. Johnny had been just four that year when they had gone to Milan. It was one of his earliest memories and one of his best. It was one of the rare holidays where his parents had been genuinely happy. He couldn't help but tear up slightly as he looked down at her. It had been so long since he had seen these photographs and almost as long since he had allowed himself to really remember her.

"We went there to visit Claudia," he remembered. "She must have left this here for me. It was the year that she got me my toy piano, the one that got smashed. My parents were really happy, even my father. It was the best Christmas I ever had."

Johnny had only spoken about his musical beginnings once to her. It had been late one night after they'd been together. It was much easier for him to let his walls down in the dark when he was unable to gauge her reactions or see the emotions flashing in her eyes. Maxie knew what that piano had meant to him and likely what that holiday had represented.

She shifted the photo album into her lap and slid a photograph from the sleeve. It was a black and white shot of his mother holding him as an infant. Her face was serene as she smiled down at her beloved newborn, their attentions both completely focused on each other. "We are going to frame this one and put it in the living room."

"I miss her."

Leaning her head on his shoulder, she held the photograph in front of them with one hand and held his with the other. "I know what it's like to miss someone," she commiserated. "My mother is still alive, but she quit being my mom a long time ago. I'm lucky that I still have Mac. I don't know what we would have done without him. I was so afraid that I would lose him after Georgie died. It would have been so easy for him to give and turn into this angry person."

"If it wasn't for you and Robin, he probably would have," Johnny acknowledged. He knew what it was like to have the only family you have left turn toward the darkness and madness. It was what his father had done after he had shot his mother. It explained the bitterness that Claudia carried around with her. "You were his saving grace, just like you've been mine."

Maxie shook her head as she looked up at him pleadingly. "Please don't say that. I don't want that kind of pressure, Johnny. I will be the biggest part of your heart and of your life, but you can't build your world around me. We both know how that usually works out."

Most people would have thought that Maxie would want to be the center of attention, but Johnny understood her reluctance to mean that much to anyone. Growing up in a town dominated by the likes of Zacharras and Cassadines, she would have been crazy not to have apprehension when it came to something like that.

"Maxie, I need to tell you something."

She knew immediately that whatever he had to say was huge. "What is it?"

"You're going to hate me."

"Maybe," she confessed. As much as she loved him, she was still who she was. There was a good chance that whatever he had to tell her was so monumental that she might end up hating him. She wouldn't lie to him anymore than she would lie to herself. "But I still love you, and we won't know how to deal with it until you tell me."

"I'm not sure that I'm ready."

"Then wait," she countered, squeezing his hand. "Tell me when you're ready."

Her patience was uncharacteristic but welcomed. "I need to tell you now. I know that I'm never going to be ready, but I can't keep this secret from you forever. It's the same thing that I knew would destroy Lulu and me."

"I thought that I did that."

Johnny smiled briefly before shaking his head. "You just gave me a reason to make us both move on," he proclaimed as he held her gaze. "You know that no matter what I tell you, this happened before we were together and that I love you."

"Okay, now you're scaring me."

He couldn't tell her how scared he was himself. "It's the huge secret that I've been keeping for months now," he confessed. "It explains all the things that I've had you help me do for Claudia."

"I gathered as much. Go on."

He looked down at their entwined hands. How could hands that caressed hers so gently be capable of doing the things they'd done? How could the heart that loved her so completely been so cruel as to want to end a man's life? How could eyes as gentle as his were when he looked at her have ever been filled with so much hate? Johnny was still that walking contradiction, a perplexing mix of light and dark. He knew that he could give into the darkness and keep this secret, or he could reach for that beacon of hopeful light that she was offering him. It was different than it had been with Lulu. Maxie understood both sides. She loved the rebel and the poet, the criminal and the musician.

"It's about Michael Corinthos' shooting," he said finally. "I'm the reason that he is in a coma. I'm partly to blame for the fact that a mother lost her son and a little boy lost his brother. I'm to blame for everything, Maxie. I did this to him. I did this to everyone."


	9. Chapter 9

Johnny plans for a romantic picnic dinner went forgotten as he sat beside Maxie at the counter pouring over the contents of the photo album. It was with great regret that he reached over and closed the album, pushing it far away from him so that he could have her complete attention. He had started to tell her the truth earlier but she hadn't been ready to hear it. She had cut him off quickly after he had started to admit his part in Michael's shooting. However, enough time had passed, and Johnny was still anxious to tell her. If she was really going to fall in love with him, she had to know what kind of man he was.

"Maxie, I really need to talk about this," he told her softly. She ran her hands nervously over the smooth counter, wracking her mind for an excuse to stop this conversation before it restarted. "You need to know the real story behind Michael's shooting."

She turned toward him, tucking her knee between his and holding his hand in her lap. "Johnny, you don't have to tell me. I don't need to know why you did what you did all those months ago. We weren't together. I honestly really don't want to know."

"You already know, don't you?" he asked. He hadn't realized until now that Maxie knew exactly what he was talking about. "How long?"

"I kind of started to put things together after the fourth or fifth time you asked me to help you with something completely strange with Ric," she admitted quietly. It had been a hard thing to come terms with, and so Maxie had chosen to deny it. She refused to believe it was true until this moment. She couldn't ignore the facts any longer. Her boyfriend, the man she loved more than anything, had put that beautiful little boy in a coma that he would likely never wake up from again. He had caused months of pain to Jason, Carly, Sonny, Morgan and all the people that loved Michael. "Johnny, how could you do that?"

"I wish I could answer that," he told her truthfully. "It started out as revenge, just a power play against Sonny. Michael wasn't supposed to be there. Ian Devlin took a stupid shot. I'm not sure if he didn't see that the kid was there. I would have never agreed to go along with it if I had known that Michael would be there. Hell, I wouldn't have even put Kate at risk. It was supposed to be a clean deal. Claudia didn't want this to happen."

She wasn't sure what kind of solace she could find in the fact that at least the Zacharra siblings hadn't planned this. She suddenly couldn't stand the feeling of his hands on her. Those were the hands of a killer, someone who had extinguished Michael's spirit long before his time. While they were never close, Michael was apart of her extended family through Bobbie. Everyone had adored the kid. "I don't know what to say."

"Say that you don't hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"Maxie," he pleaded, his voice desperate as he followed her across the room. She whirled around at the sound of her name. Confusion and fear stared back at him. He had never wanted to see those emotions from her. Maxie was supposed to be the girl that was different. However, there was no denying that his life brought this out in everyone. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," she shook her head. "Some day you are going to be a father and you are going to have to think about the little boy that you helped put into a coma every time you look at them. I'm trying so hard right now not to see you as the monster that did that. I know that you're a good man, Johnny. You're tortured and complex and have a few violent tendencies, but your overall goodness is innate. Knowing what I know about you, I don't know how you could do this. How could you keep this lie all these months? God, this is what you were hiding from Lulu. You never told her. Why me?"

He shrugged as he leaned against the door, not liking the way this conversation was going. He wasn't sure what he had expected but this certainly wasn't it. "You're different," he answered. It was really the only explanation he had. He couldn't put into words what made this situation, this relationship, so unlike the one he'd had with Lulu, but it was. "I told you that I want all these things with you, Jones, and I meant it. I feel like we have this really great chance to have a fresh beginning, and I don't want to start it with this secret between us."

"And you expect me to keep it with you," she pointed out. "Johnny, did you ever think about how knowing this could affect me? Besides the fact that Sonny Corinthos will kill me along with you and your sister if he finds out that I knew, I have to face Jason Morgan knowing that I'm in love with the man that broke his heart. Jason has been really good to me, even when he hasn't wanted me around. I saw what it was like for him after he lost Michael. He and Carly were destroyed. A part of me thinks that he deserves to know the truth."

"Maybe he does."

"No," Maxie shook her head adamantly. Even if she thought that Jason deserved to know what had happened so that he could avenge Michael's shooting, she would never be the one to tell him. "I won't sign your death warrant. We have to keep this secret because any other option results in me losing you. Violence just feeds into violence. I've grown up around it my entire life. It's time that you end this cycle, Johnny. I will be with you at whatever cost, I already told you. I can deal with the choices that were made for you a long time ago, and I can keep this secret if it means keeping you safe. I just can't deal with you keeping any more secrets like this."

Maxie finally allowed Johnny to enfold her into his arms. She only let him hold her for a moment before moving away. "Maxie, are you sure about this?"

"I won't help your sister cover this up anymore. Look, Johnny, I know that you love Claudia. You should, she's your family. However, I am not willing to risk our happiness because she is so determined to destroy her life," she told him. She had already put herself on the line enough for that woman. "No more of these insane schemes, okay? That only puts you more at risk for getting caught. I don't want us to be some normal, boring couple by any means, but I don't exactly what to spend Friday night moving around bodies either."

"I'll do whatever you want me to do, Maxie, just promise me that you can get past this," he replied. He could abide by whatever ground rules she laid out for them, but he couldn't live with half-forgiveness. If she was going to be with him, she was really going to have to put this behind them. "I'll talk to Claud tomorrow. She already knows that I was going to tell you. I'm sure she'll be expecting something."

Reaching up, Maxie cupped his cheek in her palm. "It's going to be hard for me to get past this. You're going to have to give me a little time."

"Do you want to get past this? Do you want to stay with me?"

"I told you that I wouldn't walk away from you, Johnny," she reminded him. "I expected you to have a few skeletons in your closet. I knew that you were going to be apart of things that I would hate. I knew that I would become privy to your lethal side at some point. It's just going to take some time for me to realize fully just exactly what all that means. I'm used to being on the good side of the violence. My dad is the police commissioner. I understand revenge, we just go about it entirely different ways."

"So are you still going to live with me?"

"Well, I do like those closets," she thought aloud. "I'll tell you what, we can try this for awhile. It's not like I didn't suspect all of this on some level, Johnny. I can't be one to judge you after all the things I have done. However, it's not going to be easy."

"You have to forgive me."

"It's not mine to forgive," she shook her head. "You have to take that one to God and to yourself."

He looked up at her as she referenced faith. There was the kind of divine faith you have in the higher power and the kind of faith you have in someone you love. Maxie was showing him her faith in him right now, choosing to believe that he wasn't the monster that he seemed to be when he told her his darkest confession. He had to have faith that she could be the forgiving woman that he knew she wanted to be. "I'm still sorry that this is hurting you."

"Me too," she admitted. "Come here." Johnny came over and slipped his arms around her waist. Maxie leaned her forehead against his shoulder as she hugged him. The conflict raging in her heart was tumultuous, but she needed to silence all her doubts for now. She had pledged to love this complicated man no matter what, and she was bound and determined to see her vow through. Even if she didn't want to love him right now, she couldn't help it. Her heart belonged to him, flaws and all. "I love you, okay?"

"Okay," he answered softly as he kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too."

Maxie yawned as she looked out at the black sky outside. It had to be past ten, and she had an early morning with Kate at the Crimson office. They were just about to close on the June issue, but there were still a few minor details that she had to finish up. "Where are we going to sleep? We can't stay here. There still isn't a bed."

"We could go to Jake's."

"I have a better idea," she declared. She went over to retrieve her clutch and held up a ring filled with keys. "I still have the spare set of keys to one of the old rooms above Kelly's. Mike told me the other day that he still hadn't rented it out. I'm sure that Bobbie wouldn't mind if I stayed there for a night. We could go over there and get some sleep. You can get furniture in here tomorrow while I'm at work."

"You're amazing, you know that?" he whispered as he pressed his forehead to hers. "You're still really going to live with me?"

She nodded, "Of course, like I said, I love you. You don't get to just pick the parts that you want to love with someone. If you choose to have that person in your life, you have to accept all of them. I will never like some of the things you do or have done, Johnny, but I am always going to be the girl who is in love with you. Besides, you have really amazing closets." She handed over the keys to the room at Kelly's and started out of the house toward the car. "But don't think that you're getting any tonight. There will be none of that for you."

Johnny's mind hadn't even been on that subject. They should have been celebrating taking this really amazing step together tonight, but instead, Johnny was just happy that she was willing to still look at him without hatred in her eyes. He couldn't imagine how difficult it had to be to love him. "I just want to hold you," he said as she climbed in the car. Johnny shut the passenger door behind her and jogged around to slip behind the wheel. "Will you let me do that?"

Maxie reached across the console and took his hand. "I'll let you do that."

"And you won't let me go?"

She looked into his fearful dark eyes and shook her head with a silent vow. "Never, Johnny."

"I'm so scared, Maxie," he confided. "I'm scared that you're going to wake up one day and see me the way that I see myself in the mirror. I should have never told you."

"That's done now, Johnny," she soothed him. She leaned over and kissed him for the first time since he had spoken of that horrific night. "You had to tell me. I understand why. You can't take the past back, any of it. We just have to find a way to leave it where it belongs – behind us."


	10. Chapter 10

It took a lot to put that day at the house behind them, but by the time Maxie welcomed her family for a dinner party two months later, she had managed to come to terms with what Johnny had done long before they had fallen in love. He would never be a perfect man, something that they had in common. They would both carry the weight of that one bad decision with them for the rest of their lives. However, Maxie would not let it define her any more than she had let any of the other past tragedies determine the fate of her life.

"Johnny, can you grab that salad out of the refrigerator?" she called from the dining room where she was setting the table. It had taken weeks to convince Mac to come for dinner, but he was finally coming tonight with Patrick, Robin and the baby. Maxie had been busy all day with preparations, and Johnny had diligently been nearby to sooth her nerves. "And bring that wine in that your sister brought by yesterday. She said it would go perfectly with the brisket."

He wasn't sure if it disturbed him more that his sister was helping his girlfriend plan dinner menus or the fact that Maxie was worried about what would go best with the brisket she had spent hours braising to perfection. Setting the chilled salad on the table next to the bottle Claudia had brought by, he stopped her long enough to kiss her briefly. "Everything is going to be perfect, Jones," he promised her. She smiled at him bravely before setting about putting out the new silverware she'd bought in New York just for the occasion.

"You should just be glad that I chose my family for our first dinner party. I could have made this really hard on you and invited your family to join us as well," she teased him as she placed the butter knifes around the table. "Can you imagine Sonny at the same table as my dad?"

Only Maxie would be entertained by thoughts of bring mortal enemies to their new home to break bread. She was determined to have the best of both worlds, even if it meant finding ways to accommodate their families separately. She had even managed to get Sonny and Johnny to sit down for drink last week after a party at Crimson. It had been no easy feat, but her sheer tenacity and charm had convinced both men to set aside their egos for a few minutes for the sake of someone they both cared about. Claudia had been grateful to the petite blonde for her amazing caper and had decided to befriend her. It would be far more advantageous for them to use their combined powers for good. Johnny was still terrified at how those two were going to use those powers against him.

"Let's just try to get through tonight first," he laughed before heading back to the kitchen to bring in the freshly made rolls he had picked up from on the bakery afternoon. He glanced down at his watch. They still had an hour before her dad would be there. With everything accounted for, he decided that they both deserved a little reward. "Hey, can you come in here for a minute?"

Maxie blew her hair out of her eyes as she stomped toward the kitchen, trying to remember what else she needed. Johnny was sitting at the counter, a bottle of champagne chilling in the sterling silver ice bucket Bobbie had given them for a housewarming gift. "Johnny, we don't have time for this."

"Just one drink," he pleaded, holding up a pair of champagne flutes. She had always been a sucker for the bubbly, and he kept only the best stocked in their small bar at home. "C'mon, Jones, you know you want to."

"Fine, one drink," she relented with a giggle. She wiped her hands on a dish towel and bound over to sit on the stool next to him. He filled her glass nearly to the brim and handed it over. She held her flute up and toasted her boyfriend as was their tradition. "Cheers."

Johnny watched in amusement as she took that first sip, her eyes dancing as the carbonation tickled her nose. "You are so beautiful," he murmured as he slid his fingers through her hair and guided her by the neck toward him for a slow kiss. His lips caressed hers hungrily, tasting faintly of the champagne she'd just consumed. Sliding his tongue over her bottom lip, he held the kiss until he heard her moan slightly, the surefire indicator that he had her just where he wanted her. "So, I have a question for you?"

Maxie pulled away, still slightly dazed from the intoxicating kiss he'd just laid on her. "Hmm?"

Slipping from the stool, Johnny reached inside his coat pocked and produced a tiny velvet box. "The wine isn't the only thing that Claudia dropped off when she was here yesterday," he confessed as he reached for her hand and pulled her so that she was standing. He wanted to be looking straight into her eyes when he did this. "She's held onto this for awhile for me. It's one of the few things that I have that belonged to my mother. She always told me that she was going to give it to me some day so that I could give it to the woman that I would love as deeply as my father had loved her. I was starting to believe that I would never find anyone like that until you came into my life. You changed the way I look at everything, Maxie, especially myself."

Her mind was racing a million miles a minute. A part of her knew what was coming next but didn't want to get her hopes up. "You changed my life too, Johnny. You made it so much more than I ever thought it could be. You made me so much more than I thought I could be."

Johnny flipped the box open and pulled the small piece of jewelry from its velvet pillow. He took her left hand and stared deeply into her eyes. "I know it's fast. I know that it doesn't really make sense," he admitted. "But that's how we started, fast and nonsensical. I just went after what I wanted, kind of like I am doing now."

"What are you asking here, Zacharra?"

"I'm asking you to marry me here, Jones," he chuckled. Her impatience was both maddening and endearing, creating that strange push-and-pull that could make you both fall in love with and want to strangle Maxie in the same beat. "Maxie, my pretty girl, will you marry me?"

Another kind of girl would have cried at that moment as she realized that she finally had her own version of a prince charming. She would have started imagining taffeta bridesmaid dresses and floral arrangements and wedding cakes. That kind of girl would have jumped up and down animately while she screamed her acceptance over and over again. She would have had that storybook answer that all girls dream of from a young age. However, Maxie Jones wasn't that girl. She was cool and stylish, nonchalant and placid. Rather than that eager reception that Johnny would have expected from anyone else, she offered only a calm, "Sure."

Other guys would have taken her casualness as a resignation to the situation, feeling like she really didn't want to marry him but it seemed better than breaking up. He would have been put off by how she didn't seem to care and not seen past the surface. That kind of guy would have stormed out of the room, cursing himself for putting so much thought into something that didn't matter to her. He would have had that stereotypical response that guys have had for generations. However, Johnny Zacharra wasn't that guy any more than she wasn't that girl. He was confident and comfortable, cocky and collected. Rather than that brusque overreaction that Maxie could have expected from someone else, he replied with only a bright, "Yeah?"

"Yeah, of course I'll marry you," she gushed finally, throwing her arms around him. He dipped her back into a deep kiss, making her feel like that fairytale princess she had never really believed in. When they pulled apart, Maxie started laughing uncontrollably. "I can't believe you just asked me to marry you."

"You're the crazy one that said yes," he teased her as he joined into her laughter. The entire thing felt absurdly right, something neither of them could have ever thought they would find, least of all with each other. "God, we're really getting married."

"Yep," she grinned, looking down at the beautiful ring Johnny had slipped onto her left finger. It was a sizable emerald-cut diamond in a platinum setting, exactly what she would have picked out. "This ring is beautiful, Johnny." She leaned forward and pecked his lips briefly. "And by the way, you get to tell Mac."

Johnny hadn't even thought about her father. He wondered if he was the kind of guy that would want someone to ask permission before proposing to his daughter. However, that really didn't matter considering that Maxie wasn't the kind of girl that needed someone else to give her permission to do anything. "He's your father."

"That's why you get to tell him," she retorted. "I can't be the one to break his heart. I'm his little girl. You're the guy who has stolen me away. You have to do it."

"I'll tell your dad if you tell Claudia."

"You're supposed to be the big man who takes care of me," she whined, her voice dripping with false vulnerability. "You should be the one to tell your sister and my dad."

He shook his head as he laughed, kissing the tip of her nose. "You only want me to take care of you when it comes to something you don't want to do," he laughed. Still, he would do anything in the world for her, including face the wrath of her father and the discontent of his sister. "Fine, I'll tell them, but you owe me."

"I can think of a few ways to make good on my debts," she moaned into his ear, running her hands down his shirt and over his chest. Johnny's muscles tensed under her touch. "Too bad that my family will be here soon. We have some celebrating to do."

"I could be quick," he offered. They both knew that he couldn't. Quickies just weren't their style. "Alright, well, we have later."

"And the rest of our lives," she grinned happily as she held up her sizable ring and gazed at it in the sunlight. "I'm really happy right now, Johnny. You make me really happy."

Johnny had heard Maxie tell him a lot of things in the three months since they had been together, but she had never quite used happy to describe it before. She had been in love, safe and at home. She had been hungry, yearning and turned on. She had been confused, upset and hurt. She had been every emotion in the book, but tonight, for the first time, she had finally told him how happy he made her.

"You make me happy, too."

_Fin. _

_Author's Note: Thank you all for reading both of my JoMax stories over the past few months. I have had a great timing writing for the pairing and have been blessed to enjoy amazing reviews from very loyal readers. Check out my other story, Back Here Again, if you're interested in other GH stories I'm penning right now. _


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